Not all is bleak for Carey, though. The Cavaliers were good for a playoff win or two, at least until LeBron James took his talents to South Beach. Ouch.
Regardless, Cleveland still rocks.
The next fan on the list rocks a tight T-shirt ...
No. 2: Ashley Judd - Kentucky Wildcats
In an interview with Sports Illustrated in May of 2004, Judd states, "One thing I love about going to UK games is that I don't feel like a movie star, I'm just another passionate fan."
Then why does she make sure everyone there knows who she is?
The only difference between Ashley Judd at a Kentucky basketball game and that annoying girl at the Super Bowl party who gets excited about the commercials, laughs uproariously at the singing E-trade baby, and scowls when Danica Patrick strips for Godaddy.com is that Judd looks better in a tight T-shirt.
A lot better, actually -- once prompting ESPN analyst Rick Majerus to quip at the end of a Kentucky basketball game, "I'm starting to look for Ashley Judd, so I don't have to go home to the adult videos tonight."
That's creepy, but not as creepy as this next guy ...
No. 1: Stephen King - Boston Red Sox
The only thing that might be eerier than watching the Red Sox choke in the 1986 World Series is watching a Stephen King movie.
The slow roller going between Billy Buckner's legs has nothing on locking the doors of the gym at the high school prom and slaughtering every living human being inside.
King is such a fan of the Beantown baseball team that the Red Sox are frequently mentioned in his book. He even went as far as to name one book "The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon," after a relief pitcher who spent three seasons with the team.
King's connection to the team is so strong you'd be tempted to think he single-handedly reversed the curse that hung over the Red Sox from 1918-2004. Like maybe he buried it in the "Pet Cemetery" or something, prompting his beloved team to overcome a 3-0 deficit to defeat the hated New York Yankees before going on to end 86 years of misery by winning the World Series.
It's unclear what King holds in store for the future of his favorite team. Grinding the Yankees into a "Bag of Bones" may be a top priority.